There Will Be Clarity Now
by Lady Elena Dawson
Summary: After Aria decides to go through a horrible procedure, Ezra follows her in pursuit to try and erase what she's done.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I'm on vacation right now, but I just had to start this story and see what you guys think! Basically it's going to follow the plot of the movie _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_. If you're a Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, or _Inception _fan like I am, I strongly recommend it. I won't give too much away, but just a side note: ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED IN TIME. :) (Or you could just google the movie and get most of your answers now.) **

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Pretty Little Liars _or _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind._

**There Will Be Clarity Now**

**By Lady Elena Dawson**

**Prologue**

_"You must not try to make love definite. It is the divine accident of life." ~Sherwood Anderson,_ Winesburg, Ohio

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"And how does he make you feel?"

Silence. "Before or after?"

A click of a pen. "Let's start with before."

A long, drawn-out sigh. "Like something special... I dont know, like I was the only girl in the world." Another pause, then a snort-like laugh. "It's cliché, I know."

"As long as you're telling the truth." The scribbling of ink on paper. "And after?"

The air barely stirred as it awaited a reply. "Unhappy." That was the simple response. "Too much fighting, too many differences..." Too many layers of complications.

"And you're sure this is what you want?"

There was no certainty, but she said it anyway. She watched the cassette tape's film roll around in the casket.

"Yes." It was final. "I'm sure."

...

There came a frantic knocking from the door, and an even louder thump as Ezra rolled off his bed and fell to the ground. Groaning, he realized that hangovers made loud, thudding noises even worse to listen to, all distorted and making his head ache.

When he managed to peel himself off the floor and untangle the blanket from around his legs, he rubbed his eyes and then the stubble growing on his chin. Blinking, he caught his reflection in the mirror and realized that he looked like he had smoked a full pack in five minutes, the whites of his eyes red and face tinted green.

Finally he opened the door...and there stood Spencer, fist raised in the air to knock yet again and a worried expression plastered on her face.

...

"Did you collect all the belongings like I asked you to?"

Two large, overstuffed bags full of pictures, DVDs, and books littered the floor of the office. She kicked them with her booted foot slightly, a frown daunting her lips. "It's all in here."

"Good." Again, another scribble of pen on notepad. "Jake, can you show Miss Montgomery to the exam room, please?"

A young man no older than her in a pristine white lab coat appeared out of the corner, making her jump in surprise. "It's just this way," Jake said kindly, a tiny smile appearing on his lips as he nonchalantly looked her up and down. Those hazel eyes were certainly something, he thought as she passed him and strutted into the hallway with an iron rod of a back.

His gaze caught the bags she'd left behind. Without another thought, he slipped a couple random possessions into his pocket. Maybe he could use it to his advantage later.

Inwardly, he knew she was conflicted. But the decision was made. Why not try to make her happy in the outcome?

...

"Is Aria here?" she asked in a sort of pant. Her cheeks were rosy from running. Why was she up so early looking for Aria? Wouldn't she be sleeping at home?

"No," Ezra replied with a yawn, a groan, and a sigh, all in succession of one another. "We got into a fight last night and she left."

The color drained from Spencer's face, leaving her pale as a sheet. "You two fought last night?"

"I wish it was a dream, but yes, we did" Ezra said, confused. "Sometimes things just happen to get out of hand."

"And she left?" Ezra nodded. "Was she upset?"

"Yeah, we both were. Most of the time that's how fights end."

Now Ezra knew what Spencer would look like if she was a vampire, because not an ounce of blood remained in her complexion. "Thanks," she stuttered rather quickly, and ran down the hallway in a hurry.

...

Her hand shook from high levels of emotion as she took the pill from the doctor's hand and stuffed it in her purse. Blinking, she wiped her puffy eyes with the back of her hand.

"Take this tonight, and in the morning the procedure will be complete." As she stood up to go, he smiled at her warmly. "Thank you for choosing Lacuna."

...

Rapidly, Spencer whipped her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Toby as she clomped down the stairs. "Toby, I need you to do me a favor."

Reaching her car, she struggled to find her keys while balancing the phone on her shoulder. Eventually she just kicked the wheel hard and swore under her breath, eyes watering as she started to cry. After Toby managed to bring her sobs down to a whimper, she wiped her eyes with her sleeve and simply explained, "I think Aria's in a bad place and she's going to do something stupid."

...

Sniffling, Aria exited the office and managed to make it to the waiting room without collapsing. Immediately she was bombarded by the young assistant just as she was about to open the door.

"I'm Jake, but you probably know that already." He twisted the knob and gestured to the street. "Ladies first."

"Thank you," Aria mumbled, feeling stupid for crying so much. With that, she stepped around him.

"Hey," Jake called out. "Do you want to go out for coffee?"

...

Ezra watched from his window as Spencer animatedly chatted on the phone. The acid in his stomach roiled in dread. Had something happened? Was Aria hurt? Had she hurt herself?

He couldn't help but feel like everything was his fault.

...

In front of Aria's apartment door, Toby jiggled and played with the lock until it gave out. Kicking it open, Toby cried out Aria's name, adrenaline coursing through his veins. After all, she was his friend, too, and Spencer sounded so devastated and convinced on the phone.

He checked the living room; nothing. The bathroom; nothing. The bedroom, the kitchen, all nothing. He called out her name again. There was absolutely no one there.

As Toby exited the apartment, he made a mental note to repair the door later. For now, he recalled Spencer in haste. "Hey, Spence," he said into the receiver. "She's not here."

Of course she wasn't. In fact, she was at The Grille, laughing with Jake hard enough for coffee to come out of her nose. But Toby wouldn't know that.

And no one, not even Ezra, knew what she was going to do next.

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**Should I continue? Love it, hate it? Or are you just confused? Make my day brighter than Vienna and leave a review! **


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: After a long time away, I'm back from vacation and dying to write! I figured that out of all my PLL stories, this one had the most explaining to do. I'm hoping to get "Scandalous" updated soon, either later today or tomorrow, because I know I left that one on a bit of a cliffhanger, too.**

**I figured that my good friend Romione4Life deserved to read some Spoby, since I shove Ezria down her throat all the time. Sooo, this story _will_ feature some Spoby...like in this chapter, for instance! And of course Spoby will have some drama later also. **

**The good thing is, I have this story planned out start to finish. There might be some times in the middle where it'll be a little rough, but I'm more excited for this story than any of my others right now. I've never written Ezria angst and darkness before, and I've been wanting to but couldn't think of a good idea. Though it'll be hard at first, I promise there'll be plenty of fluff in future chapters. **

**Lastly, I hope this gives you more answers than questions. I know the last chapter didn't make much sense at all. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 1**

Aria's eyes fluttered open, but she immediately cringed and shut them when a blinding white light threatened to burn them. At first, she thought she had died unknowingly and was making her way up to heaven; didn't people always say they saw a bright light in their descent? But it didn't take long for her eyes to adjust and realize it was just the normal, everyday sunlight.

_Darn_, she thought as she glared at the streams of light seeping through her curtains. _Being an angel is better than feeling like crap. _And it was true: her head killed, and her brain pounded achingly slow.

Slowly, Aria tried to process who she was. Where was she? Oh yeah, it was her apartment in New York. What was she doing last night? Hanging out with that new doctor—well, assistant—Jake. And before that?

She racked her brain but still couldn't remember. Then she realized all her friends from Rosewood were visiting the city, so she was probably with them and had too much to drink. That's most likely it. What else would she be doing, anyway?

Yanking the covers off, she proceeded to get ready for the day. She was meeting Jake later for another coffee and Hanna and Emily, along with Paige, were going to take her shopping. And after that, she'd be chilling with Spencer and Toby at her apartment, where the trio would attempt to cook something none of them have ever cooked before. Firefighters be ready.

But other than her future plans, she could barely remember college. And what was up with her memory of high school? She could remember freshman year at Rosewood, Alison's disappearance, her year abroad in Iceland, and then the unearthing of Alison's body. She remembered A, but what else happened junior and senior year? She didn't remember dating anybody, lonely soul she was…

As she reviewed all this in her head, she completely forgot she was in the middle of brushing her teeth, and that the curling iron was steaming. Reacting fast, she dropped her toothbrush in the sink and turned down the heat dial on the iron, muttering swear words as she did so. Not only did exclaiming profanities with toothpaste in her mouth help her cope with the new burn on her finger, but it also helped her feel better for the fact that she woke up to a nearly bare memory.

At that moment, there came a knock at her door. Aria quickly spit into the sink and rinsed off her face. While walking to the door, she thought that it could be Hanna, Emily and Paige, but if it was it would be quite a surprise; they were never on time, especially when they were together.

Opening the door, her eyebrows rose in confusion as she took in the man in front of her. He had dark, slightly curly hair, blue eyes, and a nice jawline. Aria couldn't help but squint to study him head to toe. He was certainly something.

"Aria," he said in a flowing, hopeful voice. Aria just blinked at him. "I'm sorry about everything. I know it was a stupid fight, and I'm sorry we've had so many of those. I just want you to come back like you always do. Because you're the smart one and I'm not, right?" He chuckled anxiously.

But Aria had no idea what he was saying. "I'm sorry," she apologized, her hand on the door handle, ready to close it. "But I think you have the wrong person."

The man's eyes grew wide and he shuffled his feet nervously. He shoved his hands in his coat pockets. "Aria, it's me. We've been together for more than seven years." There was no sign of recognition on Aria's face. "We met your junior year in high school and moved to New York together after you graduated," he explained optimistically. Still nothing. He swallowed hard and scratched the back of his head with a sweaty palm. "That doesn't ring a bell?" Sadly, his voice cracked with the heavy emotion.

Aria shook her head, an apologizing glint in her eyes. "I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure I don't know you." She started to close the door. "I hope you find this girl, though."

However, Ezra wasn't ready to give up. "Wait!" he yelled as he stuck his foot in the way of the door and the frame. Aria screamed. "I know you! How can you not remember a single thing? Is this some kind of joke? Because this isn't like you, Aria."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know you!" she cried back, kicking his foot with her bare one and instantly slamming the door in his face. Rapidly she locked it and afterwards leaned against it, breathing hard. What had just happened? And how did that man know her name?

Meanwhile, Ezra still stood in front of her door, heartbroken. Was this a dream? How could Aria not remember? As he unfroze from his spot and headed back down, he noticed her mailbox. Though he hesitated, he still decided to anyway. Stalker-ish move, yes, but he needed answers.

The first couple envelopes were from friends and family. Following was her recent bills. But that was pretty much it. Then he saw it.

It was a white enveloped with an emblem etched in the paper. Next to that was a company name, Lacuna Inc. Gently opening it, Ezra saw that it was just an ad. Knowing Aria, she would just throw it out, but not Ezra. Inside listed the details of the company.

_Here at Lacuna, we specialize in the art of permanent specified memory loss. People that want to forget anyone—even a lost pet—will find that our specialists take caution and good care. To learn more about our procedures, visit our website._

Specified memory loss? What on earth was that? And who would willingly give away their memory? That's when the cold set in, though, and the news sunk in.

Aria had gotten her memory erased. But not of embarrassing moments or painful regrets, she'd permanently erased one person in her life. And it happened to be him.

…

After a long two hours of shopping, Aria welcomed herself home to a waiting Toby and Spencer. "Hey, guys!" she said cheerily as she set down the bags and encased Spencer in a hug. "I know we only saw each other the other day, but it already feels like so long!"

"I know," Spencer replied, and thanked the gods that Aria didn't acknowledge the wobble of her smile.

Toby, noting Spencer's current discomfort, spoke up as Aria cleaned up the kitchen. "So, how was your day?"

"Strange," Aria laughed. "Seriously, it's been one weird day."

Spencer, who was leaning her head on Toby's shoulder in guilt, practically jumped out of her seat. "Why?" she asked, hoping Aria wouldn't question her jerky movements.

"Some guy came to my door this morning." She snorted. "He was talking to me like we were a couple. I think he thought I was a different Aria. And then, while I was shopping with the other girls, they kept asking me about this guy named Ezra."

"What did you tell them?" Spencer's heart was pounding a mile a minute.

Aria gave Spencer a questioning look. "That I didn't know anyone by that name…"

"Oh." Spencer cleared her throat when her voice cracked. "Right. You would know because Ezra's not really a common name."

"Yeah." Aria dragged out the word and noted Spencer and Toby's suddenly stiff expressions. "What's up, guys?"

"Nothing!" Toby jumped in. "It's just been a rough week."

Aria scoffed and turned back to wiping down the counters. "Tell me about it! I can barely remember Monday, it's been so stressful—"

She was interrupted by the slam of a door, and she looked up to find Spencer had locked herself in the bathroom. "Am I missing something?" Aria asked reluctantly.

"No, Spencer's workload's been doubled so she's a little tense," Toby lied professionally. "I'll go talk to her."

As soon as Aria was distracted by her cleaning, Toby knocked timidly on the bathroom door. "Spence—whoa!" Instantly, the door had opened and an arm had grabbed him and pulled him in, locking him inside the floral-smelling place.

"This is my fault," Spencer sobbed. Her legs were wobbling from the emotional wave.

Worriedly, Toby put both hands on Spencer's shoulders. "Spence, your knees are shaking. Please, sit down and tell me what you mean."

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Spencer started her story on the toilet seat. "I'm the reason Aria forgot Ezra."

Toby stared at his girlfriend in disbelief. "No, Spence, you're not! It was all Aria's choice—"

"Let me finish," Spencer interrupted and looked down at her lap, ashamed. "Aria came to our hotel room after her fight with Ezra on Monday, while you were out with Caleb," she began to explain. "She was such a mess, too, and it wasn't the first time I'd seen her so upset. So… So I told her…" Her voice was strained and she had to pause and take a moment to breathe. "I told her that this relationship she's been trying _so_ hard to work out for _so_ long just wasn't worth it anymore. That she wasn't happy anymore. That she didn't deserve to be trapped in this relationship that started off a fantasy and was destined to be rattled when it hit reality. That she's been up in the clouds too long."

Toby didn't know what to say, so instead he simply asked, "Is that all?"

"No!" Spencer snapped. "It gets worse. After I told her that, she got this weird look on her face. She left saying she had to do something, and that was the last time I talked to her. That's why I was so worried on Tuesday. I thought she'd hurt herself or something." Toby opened his mouth to add something, but Spencer let out another tense sob. "A-and then, this came in the mail, and I was hoping it wasn't true. That Aria was just playing some prank on me."

She handed Toby a printed note that was on yellow stationary. There, in bold orange letters, were the words _Aria Montgomery has erased her memory. Please do not mention Ezra Fitz around her again. _At the bottom was a smaller note mentioning that she would only be confused if someone brought up his name, and could possibly be scared into hysteria if shown objects or pictures.

"At first, I had hope." Spencer sniffled, still not looking Toby in the eye. "Then this happened."

Folding up the note, Toby stuffed it in his pocket and slowly got down on his knees in front of Spencer. "You didn't hurt anybody," he whispered, and her watery eyes finally looked into his. "You couldn't. It wasn't your fault." He pushed her hair behind her ear so he could see her face, the one he'd fallen in love with over and over again, and wiped a stray tear away with his thumb. "Anyone would be lucky to be your friend, and that's what you were trying to be. In the end, it was Aria's choice."

Spencer managed to plaster a crooked smile on her face. "Thank you, Toby." And she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him tight, wondering how Aria could ever purposefully forget Ezra if she loved him as much as she loved Toby.

…

The room was dark, but Ezra didn't care enough to open the curtains or turn on the lights. All he wanted to do was lie in his bed, fall asleep, and never wake up. The pain hurt too much, and her face was everywhere, even in his mind. There was the frame on his nightstand, and the multiple pictures hanging on the wall. She had even made an album for him on their fifth anniversary, which he had placed openly on his coffee table.

The glass of scotch sat abandoned on his nightstand, right next to the picture, actually. It was the same one Aria had on her nightstand in her apartment, and though it was nearly seven years old, they cherished it like a pet. It was the first official picture they took as a couple, right after they went public the end of her junior year. And now all Ezra wanted to do with it was smash it to bits on the floor.

He felt numb, to say the least. He couldn't understand how, or why, she would do that. Did he really make her that unhappy…enough for her to wipe it all out? The worst part was, the procedure was permanent. He'd researched it earlier and couldn't picture his Aria going in there and letting some strangers who knew nothing of their relationship just clean it out, one memory at a time. He couldn't imagine her looking so peaceful as she slept in her bed while those same strangers hooked her up to some weird device and pinpointed where each memory was stored and obliterated. Did she ever try to stop it in her head? Or was she smiling in her sleep as they were washed away?

Suddenly, Ezra knew what he had to do. He couldn't suffer like this anymore _knowing _that she'll never come back. No, it was his turn.

It was time to say goodbye to Aria Montgomery.

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**There's no place like home, but a review will make my return from vacation just THAT much better.**


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